Wherever you may be -
I miss you and your posts, which always used to make me laugh as well as make me think. I hope you’re well and doing good, and I hope very much that one day you’ll return in some way to writing.
All the best and in solidarity 
..but here are some recent reading (and listening!) suggestions, from the UK part of my blogroll.
Arantxa on the meaning of feminism
Debs responds to the most recent misogynist “anti rape” campaign from the home office
The same story is also covered by Maia, Sparklematrix, and Grace
Jo22 collects mens many excuses for the abuse of women in the sex trade
Laurelin takes apart the anti-feminist nonsense spun by Mr Charmless
Maia despairs over our national ignorance of AIDS and sexual health
Michelle wants our media to hold men accountable for their own actions
and I’ll say again - her post, “Dear Mr Postmodernist”, is excellent.
Laura also points to mens responsibility for their crimes against women
Sparklematrix writes about female genital mutilation and harmful cultural traditions
and Kate at Cruellablog is now doing a regular news podcast here.
Darkdaughta has additional suggestions:
(as before, bold those that apply.)
35. Your entire family or individual relatives was preoccupied with making sure that the family name was protected.
36. Your family name brings sighs, awe-filled glances , rolled out red carpets and immediate access in circles where your family is known.
37. Family members hold government office, are CEOs of large companies, are well known authors, land/property owners or successful business people who own their own businesses.
38. You are closeted about some important facet of your identity especially one related to the erotic, because your family is well known and people would talk causing a lowering of overall family status.
39. Small children in your immediate family go to montessori, waldorf or other paid schooling that older family members never did and it is understood that they will all have the opportunity to go to university or college…as the amerikkkans call it.
40. You have investments, stocks and/or bonds.
41. You can afford to go on vacation once or twice a year to another country either because of cash at hand or because of credit.
42. You have a line of credit at your bank.
43. Your landlord is friendly, does repairs on time and doesn’t present you with eviction notices if/when you’re late with the rent.
44. For that matter, you are of a higher class, economic bracket or educational background than your landlord.
45. You presently own your own single family home or condominium.
46. You choose to rent and don’t ever have to worry about how you will pay next month’s rent, bills, grocery costs, entertainment and any incidentals or emergency health care related bills.
47. You have medical and dental insurance.
48. You have home contents insurance.
49. You have a non-second hand car.
50. You could have a non-second hand car and afford it easily, but you choose to buy a second hand car on principle.
51. You could buy anything you need new and at cost, but you choose to buy second hand or to haggle 0n principle or because you’re cheap or because you were taught to not flaunt your financial privilege.
____________________________________________________
Before now I never really identified the fact I didnt spend my childhood in one home with one family as being so massively abnormal, even though I know its not usual. But these questions, representing as they do what middle class people probably consider the ‘norm’, do make me feel different. I have lived in so many different homes, sometimes only for a week or two. I have spent time sleeping rough, going from sofa to sofa and bed to bed, and in squats. Not political squats, just empty houses that we took for ourselves, for as long as we could before being removed (not long, usually). Nowadays I have a secure home, we rent from my partners parents, paying their mortgage on this house. We dont own our own home but I think this is maybe the next best thing, renting from people who will let us decorate our own way, who wont kick us out without notice, and who are happy for us to live here long term.
Anyway - my point is - that maybe some people who dont move around a lot, who have a secure home, arent really aware that that in itself is a privilege? But also - I dunno, in some ways it was neglect, and I went through a lot of abuse and it was really a hideous way to live. Once upon a time my school teachers looked at me and thought I’d be the kid that made it, that got to uni and did good, because I had the brains. Then my home life went mental, and I lost whatever chance I may have had at scholarships and university places. I also screwed up in other ways and lost time and ability, as well as developing long term mental health issues, just because I was a kid trying to survive while other kids were going to school and doing kid stuff. But in other ways, not having that “secure loving family unit” has been liberating for me, because I’ve seen the way many families operate and how they can be psychologically abusive, where they are not outright physically abusive. I’m not sure if I got out lucky. Also - I managed to slip through the net, I always do somehow, and I stayed out of the “care” system. I had friends in care and I witnessed enough I didnt want to be part of it. So on one hand I was lucky to stay out of care, but on the other I went through rough times in other places instead, and I didnt get any of the government help that is reserved for kids coming out of care.
Starfish has been writing about family here, and her response to the class meme is here, with some interesting discussion following. I think there are cages everywhere, but I dont have much else put together yet to say.
via cellycel and LM
Bold all those that apply to you.
1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
I was always given books for presents at birthday and christmas time, plus i had a lot of Enid Blyton and similar handed down to me. Also, my mum read a lot, mostly fantasy novels. My dad doesnt reallyr ead at all, but he did have books on gardening, budgie breeding, and diy about, for reference.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
9. Were read children’s books by a parent
My mum did teach me read before i got to school though, with some sort of card game, and after that I just whizzed through on my own.
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
And i still never have! 
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
Public school, on a full assisted place from the tory government. I got in by passing entrance exams with high results.
17. Went to summer camp
I went on three school trips - one to Cornwall in primary school, and in secondary school i went to France and then Greece.
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
I never learned to drive, its too expensive.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
My mum did try to paint, in watercolours, but she didnt have a lot of time for it and I think she didnt feel all that confident.
23. You and your family lived in a single family house
We did until I was about 9, but then my parents lived seperately. We stayed with my mum. After a few years she kicked me out. I did live with my dad for some of the time, but I also lived with my aunt for a bit, and some other places. My brothers stayed at my mums.
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
Both were paying off mortgages - does that count? I think it must.
25. You had your own room as a child
I always had the box room My dad made me a bed on stilts so there was space for a short wardrobe and a set of drawers underneath. I used to love sleeping up there. Obviously this is before I was 12, but I had a similar set up at my dads when I was 14. There were other times where I didnt have my own room, or a permanent home.
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.
27. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course
I have no idea what this is.
28. Had your own TV in your room in High School
My dad bought me a 15″ tv so that “I wouldnt be in the way”. I didnt actually use it much, I had an old record player I used more. But he bought the tv for me new. I sold that a couple of years later to a mate and spent the money on speed.
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
31. Went on a cruise with your family
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family
—————————————————————————–
Where did number 33 go? I think that this is maybe very a US-centred meme, some of it doesnt make much sense from a UK pov, and lots of the class markers here arent mentioned (dentistry; accents; for example).
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